Calling Dr.
Phil! If I were the psychologist I would begin each game by dimming the
stadium lights and repeating in a low and hypnotic voice, You must
play all four quarters, You must play all four quarters, You must play all
four quarters. My buddy Roger was so mad after the game that he
almost whacked a Bear’s fan with his bean dip casserole, but my other
friend, Deron, and I talked him out of it because it’s a long wait out of
the parking lot and we were hungry.
The game had
four “Cardinal Plays”: the offense fumbled twice resulting in two
touchdowns, the special needs team allowed Devin Hester to return a punt for
a 83 yard touchdown, and Rackers missed what would have been the game
winning field goal. I tell all you hard core Cardinal fans: If any of you
are having problems at work or home that you feel you can’t resolve, just
remember, if you can sit through a Cardinals game, you can do anything!
The one positive
out of all of this is Matt Leinart. He is the real deal. He is cool, calm and
collected during the game and throws the ball to the right person. But will all
the losing break Leinart’s spirit? We’ll find out if Leinart is mentally tough,
especially if they lose to Oakland and Green Bay. Leinart has already lost more
games with the Cardinals than his three years starting at USC. Maybe if the
Cardinals do lose to Oakland and Green Bay their punishment should be to spend
the bye week at the Bidwell’s eating ice cream and watching Tony Robbins videos
so they can learn how to unleash the power within. Or maybe they could watch a
replay of the 1947 Chicago Cardinals championship victory 28-21 over the Eagles
on an ice covered field in Chicago. What a unique thought that coaching staff
had: scoring TOUCHDOWNS to win. Obviously they didn’t need a field goal or the
Eagles would have been ringing the Liberty Bell.
One more word of
advice from Bartender Al: Before the next Cardinal’s game, try foregoing the Bud
Light for a couple bottles of the Belgian lager Stella Artois. With its
fourteen percent alcohol content, it might help the next Cardinal’s loss slide
down easier.